The girl with the pretty smile and suicidal thoughts
Being suicidal isn’t something you have plastered on your forehead. Most people will hide it. I know I did.
This photo I was taken before I went to Mel Wells book launch. I looked pretty. I was fit. I was surrounded by friends. I was meeting incredible people. My life was good. But I was going through the worst break up of my life. I was in desperate pain. I couldn’t see the end. I didn’t know how I’d get through it. And honestly, the answer is: friends and family. I have the BEST support imaginable. But without them, I’d have slipped into a deep depression. No question about it. I was already starting to question what the point of living is. Why stay here when it feels like this and I don’t know when or even if it’ll end? The truth is, evening changes. 16 months on and I’m in the healthiest, happiest relationship of my life. My friendships are deeper than ever. My business is growing. My inner peace is growing. My health is only improving as I let more inner bullshit go. I cut people, beliefs and hair. I let go, to let more beauty, fun, health and love in. But NONE of this would have been possible, none of it, without my friends.
It’s so so important to find yourself, to love yourself, to cultivate a relationship with yourself so you don’t look for external validation etc... but you know what? No one does this work on their own. We all talk to friends, coaches, mentors, strangers, therapists. We all talk things through. We hold each other. We walk in silence together. We cry together. We laugh together. We drink tea together. We do it all, together. You aren’t alone. You are worthy. You are valued. You are important. You are worth listening to. Your life is worth living. Your existence is vital to many. You can be happy. You can feel love again. You can feel that childlike freedom again. You are more than your pain. You are so loved ❤️ If you're struggling, ask for help. From your partner, friends, family, therapists, counsellors, coaches. You are deserving of love and support, so go get it :) Let it in.
Take care of yourself x